Squidward's Family Reunion
by monkeyshoe
Summary: Squidward's brother starts a reunion with the rest of their family. Madness begins. Now complete! Review now!
1. Squid's Childhood

Chapter 1

_In which we learn some of Squidward's History  
_

* * *

Ahhh, Ukulele Bottom. My favourite undersea town (apart from Bikini Bottom). It is here and Bikini Bottom that I have gathered a fascinating story that I think you will enjoy.

Along a street of old Easter Island heads the inhabitants use as homes, a front door opened and out came James Tentacles and his wife Sophie. Sophie was expecting a baby and they thought today was the day. They ran to the car, James in front and Sophie in the back, doing her deep breathing.

After a while they made it to the hospital and told the reception what was happening. The receptionist told them the room to go to and they were on their way.

James sat down outside the door to the operating room. He was waiting for only two hours, but it seemed like an eternity. Finally after what seemed like thirty months the doctor came out and said,

"Congratulations Mr. Tentacles, it's a boy."

James walked inside and saw Sophie holding a newborn squid in her tentacles.

"What will we name him?" asked James to his tired wife.

"How about… Squidward?" said Sophie.

"Yeah, Squidward. He'll be our pride and joy."

Then they looked at their newborn son and watched him go to sleep.

* * *

Two years later, Squidward was learning quickly. What he wanted most was a clarinet, but James and Sophie couldn't afford it because back then clarinets was worth a lot of money, and with Sophie's job at the Barg N' Mart, and James' job as janitor at the local school, their pay stunk. But they didn't change their jobs because they enjoyed them

When Squidward was two years old Sophie was pregnant again. Squidward and his father were in the waiting room when the same doctor from before came out and said to Squidward:

"Hello, little boy. You're very lucky, you have a little brother now."

"Another boy?" James asked, standing up.

"Yup. Your wife already named him. Go ahead inside."

"C'mon Squiddy," said James as he picked up Squidward in his arms. "Let's go see your baby brother."

Inside they met Sophie and another baby boy in her arms.

"What'd you name him?" James said.

Sophie was very tired. But she managed to say "Squidface" before falling asleep. 

* * *

During the years Sophie and James seemed to like Squidward better than Squidface. After several years Squidward and Squidface were ready to live on their own.

They were at the bus stop waiting for Squidward and Squidface's buses.

Sophie hugged Squidward tight. "Awe, Squidward! Are you sure you'll be right?"

Squidward smiled. "Don't worry, Mom. I've bought a nice house in Bikini Bottom."

James rubbed a tear off of his eye and walked over to Squidward.

"Son," he began. "I want to give you this… and… good luck." He handed Squidward a new clarinet.

"A clarinet?" said Squidward, delighted.

"Look on the side," said James. "It's engraved."

Squidward turned his new clarinet. On the side there was an inscription that said:

_**Clairy  
**_  
Squidward was holding back his tears.

Squidface looked at the commotion. "Hey," he said. "What about me? Do I get a gift?"

James looked at Squidface. "Oh, sure," James searched around his pocket and gave Squidface a cheap key ring.

"But…"

Suddenly a bus pulled up at the bus stop. "Oh, Squidface, that's your bus!" said Sophie.

Sophie pushed Squidface into the bus and threw in his suitcases after him.

"Bye, Mom and Da…" he couldn't finish his sentence because then the bus doors closed and the bus went on it's way to the Mediterranean.

Soon another bus came along. Squidward gave his parents one last hug and went on board.

3 hours later, the bus stopped at Bikini Bottom and Squidward walked out and marvelled at his new home.

"Nothing could possibly ruin this day!" Squidward shouted. Suddenly a yellow hand tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hi! I'm SpongeBob SquarePants!"


	2. Employee Of The Month

Chapter 2

In which we learn about the reunion and see who wins employee of the month.

* * *

3 years later in the Mediterranean Squidface was in the local bar. He had spent every night there ever since he had moved there.

The bartender went up to him and said "The usual, Squidface?"

"Yeah, Tom, please." Squidface said with a sigh.

"Squidface, what's the matter?" said Tom, handing him a soda.

"Well, it was three years since I moved away from Ukulele Bottom, and I haven't seen my parents since. I'm starting to think they don't like me."

"Well, did you ever call them?" asked Tom.

"I know their number, but they never seem to be there."

Tom thought for a second. "Hmm, do you know their address?"

"Yeah,"

"Then send them a letter asking for a family reunion! I'll bet they'll love the idea!"

"Family reunion?" Squidface pondered for a moment and said

"Yeah, yeah, a family reunion!"

"And you can tell your parents about how you'd became a success here!" said Tom.

"Yes. Yes. YES!" Squidface shouted in to the air. "Thanks, Tom!"

Squidface ran outside, shouting "Family reunion!" as he went.

Tom stared out at Squidface running and shouted out

"You forgot to pay for the soda!"

* * *

One morning in Bikini Bottom, Conch Street. Squidward was in his room getting ready to practise his clarinet.  
Before he could start, though, the doorbell rang. He walked over to the door and opened it. It was a mail fish.

"Letter, sir!" he said.

"Hoo-rah" said Squidward unenthusiastically.

The mail fish handed Squidward the letter and walked to the next house.

Squidward looked at the letter.

_Squidward Tentacles  
122 Conch Street  
Bikini Bottom  
South Pacific_

He opened the letter and read it.

_Squiddy,  
Your mom and I are coming to your house for a family reunion. It was Squidface's idea. He's coming too.  
Yours sincerely,  
Your Father_

Squidward smiled. He hadn't seen his parents and brother in a long time. Then he found something else.

_P.S. We can't wait to meet your neighbours._

"Neighbours?" Squidward shouted. He can't let his mom and dad see his neighbours! Not SpongeBob and Patrick! They don't realise how stupid they are…

Squidward needed a plan to get rid of those two before the reunion!

He looked outside and saw Patrick swimming around in the dirt.

"Patrick!" Squidward shouted. "What are you doing?"

Patrick looked up at Squidward. "Looking,"

"For what?"

Patrick stared at nothing for a while and said

"I forgot,"

"Hmmm," Squidward was used to Patrick's stupidity.

"Hey, Patrick, I know where you can find a quarter!"

Patrick's eyes gleamed. "A quarter? Really?"

"Yeah, it's in, awww, the Indian Ocean!"

Suddenly Patrick was gone. He was running to the Indian Ocean at that moment.

Squidward sighed, put on his Krusty Krab Uniform, and went to work.

Mr. Krabs put the key into the Krusty Krab door. He was barely inside when Squidward came up.  
"Good morning, Mr. Krabs."

"Good morning, Mr. Squidward!" said Mr. Krabs. "You know why it's good?"

"I'm going home early for twice the pay?" Squidward said.

"No, that's what people call a miracle." Said Mr. Krabs. "Today's the day I announce the employee of the month!"

"Whatever," said Squidward, going to the ordering boat.

Squidward sat down and read his dance magazine.

SpongeBob popped his head through the order window behind him.

"Hi, Squidward!"

"Puuah" Squidward said. 

* * *

Meanwhile in the Chum Bucket, The Krusty Krab's rival restaurant, Plankton planned his new plan to steal the Krabby Patty formula.

"This time, I'll sneak in," said Plankton to his computer/wife, Karen. "Crude, but effective."

"Right," said Karen.

Plankton ran outside and went to the back of the Krusty Krab. He opened the back door and tiptoed inside.

"There it is, the patty vault!" Plankton said a he marvelled at a huge vault full of Krabby Patties.

He silently opened the door to the vault and saw all the Krabby Patties.

"Yes! I win! I win!"

Suddenly Squidward went inside to collect the garbage and then he saw Plankton.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Plankton looked up. "I, uhh, you see, ohhh…"

Squidward stepped on Plankton. Then he picked him up, and threw outside.

Mr. Krabs went in and said "Mr. Squidward! You've saved the formuler!"

"So?"

* * *

Later on, SpongeBob, Squidward and Mr. Krabs were in the manager's office.

"Well, boys," said Mr. Krabs. "It's time to tell you who has won employee of the month!"

"WOOOOOOOOO!" shouted SpongeBob, he had won the award 26 times in a row, and was sure he'd win today.

"The winner is… Squidward Tentacles!"

"Yay… Wait… what?" said SpongeBob.

"Squidward won because he saved the formuler."

"I… lost?" SpongeBob started crying and ran outside.

Squidward and Mr. Krabs looked out and saw SpongeBob running to goodness-knows-where.

"I think you upset him." Said Squidward.


	3. Patrick Goes Nuts

**Chapter 3  
In which Patrick goes nuts**

SpongeBob was sitting down. He didn't know where he was. All he remembered was running away from the Krusty Krab and finally stopping at…  
SpongeBob turned his head and saw a sign. It said "Ukulele Bottom".  
One of the front doors of the many houses in the place opened up and two squids walked out. One, a woman, tapped her husband's shoulder and pointed towards SpongeBob. They walked towards him.  
"Hey, you look down on your luck, is anything wrong?" said James.  
SpongeBob looked down. He didn't want to tell anyone, stranger or otherwise, about how he lost the employee of the month award.  
"Well… an important chain was broken, that's all I can say." Said SpongeBob. "Say, can you give me a ride back to Bikini Bottom?"  
"Sure," said James. "As luck would have it, we were going there for a family reunion."  
SpongeBob smiled. He would go back to Bikini Bottom, apologise to Squidward and congratulate him. He deserved it anyway; he stopped Plankton while SpongeBob was in the bathroom.  
SpongeBob hopped into the squids' boat.

Plankton was never as angry. He was used to SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs stopping him from getting the Krabby Patty formula, but Squidward! The cashier? The grumpy squid? He would be the laughing stock of the Plankton family, and it was a family of hillbillies! For Neptune's sake!  
But he had a plan to get his revenge. And it had something to do with that family reunion Squidward was going to have…

The bus pulled up outside Squidward's house. Out came Patrick, back from the Indian Ocean. He walked to the front door, knocked, and Squidward opened it.  
"You promised me quarter. I don't have quarter. So… give… me… QUARTER!"  
Patrick gave Squidward a big punch on the nose. Squidward fell onto the ground. "Patrick, what's wrong with you?"

I'll tell you what's wrong. Plankton put a chip in Patrick's brain designed to make Patrick attack anyone he sees. Therefore Plankton would have his revenge on Squidward and Bikini Bottom.  
"It's working," said Plankton, watching the scene on his computer.

Patrick picked up Squidward and threw him behind his back. Squidward fell down onto the ground. A shelf fell from the wall and knocked him cold.  
"Patrick succeed." Said Patrick.  
"Squidward, what's with the mess in your house?" said Sandy Cheeks, who happened to be passing by and saw the mess in Squidward's house.  
Patrick turned and saw Sandy. "Patrick destroy Sandy."  
Patrick lunged at Sandy and tried to give her a punch in the stomach, but Sandy blocked it.  
Sandy put her hand into her pocket and pulled out two bright-green karate gloves and put them on.  
Patrick tried to punch Sandy again, but she blocked, he tried again, but she blocked. This continued for another minute until Patrick gave one last, big punch to Sandy and she fell down, unconscious.  
"Patrick win! Win! Win!"  
He was then knocked on the head by a shelf; in fact it was the shelf that fell on Squidward. Squidward woke up and grabbed the shelf on the ground. He then sneaked to Patrick and hit him on the head.  
Patrick fell down and lay unconscious next to Sandy.  
Squidward sighed. It would take forever to clean this place. He walked to the storage cabinet and got a broom. But when he got back Patrick was gone.  
He was walking back to his rock, laughing evilly.  
"Patrick may have lost this time, but Patrick try again, soon."  
He went to his rock, lifted it up, went inside and lowered his rock again. Still laughing.

James and Sophie's boat pulled up outside SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob jumped out.  
"Thanks," he said. "Have a good time at your family reunion. When is it?"  
"About a few days from now," said James.  
"Then why are you here so early?" said SpongeBob.  
"We rented a room in a hotel." Said Sophie.  
"Yeah, we want to look around Bikini Bottom," said James. "Maybe even visit that Krusty Krab restaurant we've heard so much about."  
"Okay, see you."  
SpongeBob watched James and Sophie drive off. SpongeBob turned around and saw that Squidward's front door was open.  
He walked over to the Easter Island head and looked inside.  
"Squidward!" said SpongeBob. "What's with all the mess?"  
Sure enough, the place was a mess. Squidward was sweeping the ground.  
Squidward told SpongeBob what happened.  
"I see," said SpongeBob. "Where's Patrick now?"  
"I don't know, probably under his rock."  
"I'll go see what's wrong with Patrick," said SpongeBob. "Then I'll come back and help you cleanup this place." SpongeBob walked to the door. "Oh, and Squidward?"  
Squidward looked up. "Yes?"  
"You deserved the employee of the month award. I'm sorry about what happened at the Krusty Krab."  
And with that, SpongeBob went on his way to Patrick's house.  
Sandy sat up. "What happened?"

SpongeBob went to Patrick's rock and knocked. Up came the rock and he saw Patrick sitting in a chair.  
"Patrick, what happened?" said SpongeBob. "I heard that you…"  
"Hello," said Patrick. "I knew you would come."  
"Patrick, what are you talking about?"  
Patrick walked to SpongeBob. "Patrick must destroy Bikini Bottom for Plankton. So Patrick must destroy only thing that stands in Plankton's way… YOU!!!"  
Patrick picked up SpongeBob.  
"Patrick!" yelled SpongeBob.  
Patrick threw SpongeBob to the wall. Patrick walked to where the unconscious SpongeBob was lying.  
He bound, gagged him and tied him to a chair.  
"Patrick stop SpongeBob! Now Patrick get more hostages!"  
Patrick walked slowly to his bed, laughing in his wake. When he got to his bed, he sat down, and fell instantly asleep.

Please review! PLEASE!


	4. Plankton Burps, Patrick Explodes

**Chapter 4**  
_In which Plankton burps loudly and Patrick explodes._

Squidface smiled. He was in a plane heading for Bikini Bottom, where he and his parents agreed to go to for the family reunion. He wasn't exactly going to use Tom's plan, he had something more complicated in mind to get his parents to like him…

Plankton waited. He watched impatiently at the computer screen showing Patrick sleep.  
"Oh, this is taking too long!" shouted Plankton. "Karen!"  
"Yes?" said Karen.  
"Wake him up!"  
"I can't do that."  
"Why not?"  
"He's under his rock and I'm in here." Said Karen.  
"Then install a microphone there!"  
"Yes, your majesty."  
"And make me some holographic meatloaf while you're at it." Said Plankton.  
Karen sighed. The work of a computer/wife to an evil amoeba is never done.  
She sent emails to the nautical microphone company to install a microphone at 120, Conch Street, Bikini Bottom, connected to the microphone in Plankton's laboratory.  
She then put up a holographic image of a meatloaf on Plankton's table and using a robot hand, put a can of soda on it, too.  
Plankton went out of the bathroom. He went to the table.  
"Holographic meatloaf? My favourite!" he said as he ran to the table, grabbed the fork and started "eating" it.  
"By the way," said Plankton. "When will that microphone be installed?"  
"About two hours," said Karen.  
"Great," said Plankton sarcastically. He continued with a loud belch that didn't stop for another hour.  
For the past few months Plankton was experimenting on a new item for his fast food menu. So far it was only like this:

**The Chum Bucket**  
Chum Burger  
Chum Fries  
Chum Shake  
Chum on a Stick  
Chumbalaya (New)  
Chum Chilli  
Chum Pie

He needed an item on the list that didn't have any chum. So for weeks he researched on how to make a soda that could make the loudest burp.  
After weeks and weeks of hard work and repetition (he sometimes got calculations wrong and that resulted in starting again, and an eternal scar on his left leg), he finally got it right on the day before where we are now.  
Karen put the special soda on Plankton's table as a joke.  
When the microphone was set into Patrick's home and after Plankton had stopped belching, Plankton got the microphone that hung from the ceiling and shouted.  
"WAKE UP!" Plankton shouted into the microphone. On the computer screen Patrick woke up and sat up.  
"What?" he shouted as he woke. "Where's the fire?"  
"Calm down," said Plankton into the microphone. "Now, I want you to…"  
"Who said that?" said Patrick. "Huh?" Patrick yelled so loud that the chip inside his brain exploded.  
"Ahhh," yelled Patrick. He suddenly exploded too.  
Plankton just watched the screen. He couldn't believe it. His crony, his guinea pig, had just died.  
Well, not really. The real Patrick wasn't dead. All your questions will be answered.  
(See next chapter)


	5. This Doesn't Make Sense!

**Chapter 5**

_In which we go back and forth and try to make sense of it all_

Soon after Patrick ran to the Indian Ocean to get the quarter Squidward told him about, Plankton was in his lab.  
Plankton was never as angry. He was used to SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs stopping him from getting the Krabby Patty formula, but Squidward! The cashier? The grumpy squid? He would be the laughing stock of the Plankton family, and it was a family of hillbillies! For Neptune's sake!  
But he had a plan to get his revenge. And it had something to do with that family reunion Squidward was going to have…  
He searched through his file cabinet and found the file he wanted.  
He was spying on Bikini Bottom's citizens for a while now, and this was the file he needed.

_SQUIDWARD TENTACLES PROFILE_

_HOME: 122 CONCH STREET, BIKINI BOTTOM_

_Age: No one knows_

_Friends: no one but himself and clarinet Clairy._

Plankton read on and on. He finally stopped at the place that would really help.  
Naturally, Plankton hated everyone in Bikini Bottom. So, at the bottom of every profile, there was a section on how to destroy them.

_How to destroy:  
Place a chip inside Patrick star's brain to destroy him. (In case that Squidward stops you from getting patty formula, place a chip inside Patrick's brain to destroy all of bikini bottom to exact your revenge._

Plankton smiled. He just had to know where Patrick was.  
"Karen!" he shouted.  
"Yes?"  
"Show me where Patrick Star is." Ordered Plankton.  
Karen showed Patrick on the computer screen.  
"Where is he?" asked Plankton.  
"The Indian Ocean," Explained Karen. "He's there looking for a quarter."  
"Right," Plankton thought. "Karen, get me my jetpack."

Patrick ran to the nearest person he could find.  
"Where's the quarter?" said Patrick.  
"I don't know what you're talking about?" said the fish in Indian.  
Patrick walked around the Indian Ocean until he came across a building. There was a sign on top that said in big, friendly letters: ROBOT FACTORY, WE MAKE ROBOTS THAT LOOK LIKE YOU!  
"Ohhh," said Patrick as he walked inside.  
An hour later, Patrick walked out with an android version of himself.  
"Cool, my own robot!" said Patrick. He marvelled at the android when he noticed a donut shop right behind it.  
"Donuts!" said Patrick, and he ran to it.  
While Patrick was at the Donut shop, Plankton landed on his jetpack and saw the android.  
Thinking it was the real Patrick; he carefully put a chip in its artificial brain.  
The androids eyes turned red.  
"Destroy Squidward." It said.  
"Yes," said Plankton. "Destroy Squidward and anyone you see."  
The android Patrick walked to the bus stop and went on the bus for Bikini Bottom.  
"Yes," said Plankton, laughing. "It's working." And like that, he turned on his jetpack and flew into the air.  
When the real Patrick walked back to where he left his android, he noticed it was gone.  
"Where is it?"

Well, I hope that ties up some loose ends. It was the android Patrick, who attacked Squidward, and it was the android Patrick that tied up SpongeBob to a chair, and it was the android Patrick who blew up.  
When the next chapter starts, it well be set after the android Patrick blew up.


	6. When Is He Going To Have That Reunion!

**Chapter 6**

_In which Squidward gets a new job and we wonder when exactly Squidward is going to have that reunion_

Plankton couldn't bear it. He closed his eye. Patrick had just died.  
He opened his eye again and saw that there were mechanical parts were everywhere under Patrick's rock.  
"What the?" said Plankton.  
One of the pieces, the android's mouth, said "Destroy… Squidwar…" and died.  
"It was an android!" shouted Plankton. He turned to Karen. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
"You didn't ask," said Karen, putting plain and simple.  
"Then where's the real Patrick?" demanded Plankton, he was getting angrier by the minute.  
"Still in the Indian Ocean, I'd expect." Said Karen.

SpongeBob woke up and found that he was tied to a chair and that he was gagged. He looked around Patrick's home and saw pieces of robot parts everywhere.  
"Oh," SpongeBob thought. "It wasn't Patrick at all! It was a robot!"  
SpongeBob tried to shout for help, but he couldn't say it loud enough and it was muffled.  
"Helf, helf,"

Sandy walked out of Squidward's house on her way to the Treedome. When she walked past Patrick's rock, though, she heard some noises.  
She lifted the rock and looked inside.  
The place was a mess. There were pink, mechanical pieces everywhere, and SpongeBob was tied to a chair.  
"Shandy, helf me," said SpongeBob.  
"Hold on, little square dude," said Sandy. She jumped down and untied him.  
"Thanks Sandy." Said SpongeBob.  
"What happened here?" said Sandy.  
"I'm not sure," said SpongeBob. "My guess is that wasn't Patrick at all that attacked you! It was a robot!"  
"Robot?" said Sandy, confused. "How could it be a robot?"  
SpongeBob waved along the ground, showing all the pink pieces.  
"Okay, but why would there be a robot impression of Patrick anyway?"  
"Beats me," said SpongeBob. "All I know is there's something strange going along and I don't like it!"

Squidward was finally done cleaning up the house. Everything sparkled and he even planned ahead on the family reunion by giving the walls a fresh coat of paint.  
Suddenly his shell phone rang. Squidward walked to it and picked it up.  
"Hello?"  
"Hello, Squiddy," said the voice on the other line, it was like Squidward's voice only more snobbish.  
Squidward frowned. "Squilliam Fancyson." He sneered.  
Squilliam and Squidward went far back. They were rivals in school, music, and anything else.  
After they left college they never saw each other until one morning when Squidward was playing his clarinet and Squilliam called him.  
He told Squidward that he had a big fancy band and hey were supposed to play the Bubble Bowl. It was Squidward's dream to have a band and play in the Bubble Bowl.  
Squilliam told him that he was busy that day and couldn't make it. So he asked Squidward if him and his band would cover for them. Squidward didn't have a band but agreed to Squilliam' proposal.  
He then held auditions for his own band, which was a disaster. On the last day of practise Squidward came up to them and told him how they crushed his dreams, and he walked off saddened.  
Feeling sorry for him, the band practised really hard and the next day they were ready to perform.  
They played fabulously well in the Bubble Bowl, and Squilliam couldn't believe it.  
The next time they met Squidward told him that he had a 5-star restaurant to look big in front of Squilliam. When Squilliam asked if he and all his friends would come, Squidward pleaded with Mr. Krabs to make the Krusty a 5-star restaurant for just one night. He eventually agreed and they were set to go.  
It ended in disaster, though, SpongeBob lost his mind and Squidward had to confess to Squilliam the truth.  
Back to the story.  
"Squilliam Fancyson." Squidward sneered.  
"Hello, Squiddy," repeated Squilliam. "I was wondering what were you doing this weekend."  
"I have something important Saturday." Said Squidward quickly.  
"Wait," said Squilliam. "I'm the owner of a big company now. I was wondering if you would like a job?"  
Squidward raised his eyebrows. He always hated his job at the Krusty Krab, but how could a job with Squilliam as his boss be any better?  
"What company do you own, Fancyson?"  
"Key Tone Industries." Said Squilliam.  
"Key Tone Industries!?" Squidward shouted. "They're the biggest music company under the sea! They make all kinds of instruments! They made my clarinet, in fact!"  
"Yup," said Squilliam. "And if you agree to be an employee, you'll be the tester!"  
"Tester?"  
"Tester."  
"Tester?"  
"Tester."  
"Tester?"  
"Oh, quiet! You're becoming more annoying than that little yellow friend of yours!" shouted Squilliam.  
"I'd love to become a tester!" said Squidward.  
"Right," said Squilliam. "I'll be over Saturday for the job interview!"  
"Wait? Saturday? No, you can't come Saturday, there's a family reun…"  
"See you Saturday!" said Squilliam, obviously ignoring Squidward's calls. "I'm sure you'll love your new job!"  
And with that, Squilliam hung up.  
Squidward put his head down. There was no way he could call Squilliam back and explaining to him about the reunion.  
One of these days, he's going to ask Squilliam how he got his number anyway.


	7. SpongeBob EXPELLED?

**Chapter 7**  
_In which SpongeBob is expelled and we find a reference to one of the episodes_

Patrick was still in the Indian Ocean. He was walking around still looking for the quarter.  
"You have a quarter?" he would ask to every fish he came across.  
"What's with you?" in Indian would be the answer.  
About two hours later Patrick sat slumped beside a road.  
A fish passed by and saw Patrick.  
"Here buddy, have this." Said the fish in Indian, giving Patrick a… wait a minute… could it be?  
Patrick's eyes lit up. "A QUARTER!" he shouted.  
He then danced and hugged and kissed anyone he saw.  
"What a weirdo," said the fish who had given him the quarter. He walked away, than jogged, then ran, then finally sprinted.  
"Yay!" shouted Patrick. "Now I can go back home!"  
Patrick walked to the bus stop and went on board the bus heading to Bikini Bottom.  
"I wonder where my robot has got to, though?" thought Patrick on the bus. "Oh, I'm sure it'll turn up somewhere!"

SpongeBob walked down the street. He had spent all of yesterday thinking about how there was a robot Patrick and how he appeared in the first place.  
He was now starting a new term of boating school with Mrs. Puff.  
"Hi, Mrs. Puff!" said SpongeBob when he walked in.  
Mrs. Puff sighed. "Good morning, SpongeBob." Mrs. Puff was a puffer fish, which meant she could get easily injured and bloated by the bad drivers in her class.  
The worst of those drivers was SpongeBob.  
Well, at least the driving test wasn't until the end of the semester.  
The bell rang and all the students took their places.  
In Mrs. Puff's class all the students sat down and waited for Mrs. Puff to come.  
SpongeBob sat down in his usual place beside Flats the flounder.  
"Morning, Flats!" said SpongeBob.  
"Stay away from me!" yelled Flats. He had been afraid of SpongeBob ever since Flats' non-stop punching at SpongeBob caused him to black out.  
Mrs. Puff walked inside. "Well, hello everyone." She said with a sigh. "Today we will be learning about taillights." She drew a picture of the back of a boat and drew an arrow pointing where the taillight was.  
"Now," said Mrs. Puff "Who can tell me what a taillight is?"  
Tina put up her hand.  
"Yes, Tina?" said Mrs. Puff.  
"A light connected to the boat that looks like a tail?"  
"Ummm, no." said Mrs. Puff. "Yes, Jimmy!"  
"A means of talking to the driver behind you by Morse code?"  
"No." said Mrs. Puff, starting to get annoyed.  
Ralph put up his hand.  
"Yes, Ralph?"  
"A way of making toast?"  
"No,"  
Bart put up his hand this time.  
"Bart?" said Mrs. Puff through clenched teeth.  
"Did you ever consider a diet?" asked Bart.  
Mrs. Puff was really getting mad. Then finally Flats' hand reached up.  
"Yes?" said Mrs. Puff.  
"A way of kicking someone's butt?"  
"NO!" shouted out Mrs. Puff. "ARE YOU ALL IDIOTS?"  
Bart put up his hand.  
"Four?"  
Mrs. Puff screamed. "You're all expelled! All of you!"  
"What?" said SpongeBob.  
"Get out, Squarepants!" yelled Mrs. Puff.  
"But,"  
"GET OUT!"  
SpongeBob stood up and walked to the door under Mrs. Puffs' glaring stare.  
Before he left, he turned and took one last look at the class.  
"Goodbye, class of Mrs. Puff! I knew thy well."  
He then turned and walked slowly, face down.  
The other fish in the class running out of the classroom then squashed him.  
What he forgot was that they were expelled, too.

Flats decided that now was the time. If he was going to get payback on SpongeBob, he would better do it today.  
He walked slowly to the pineapple.

SpongeBob was getting ready for work. It was Wednesday and it was the day after he was expelled.  
He put on his uniform, a tall white hat with a picture of an anchor on it, and gave Gary his breakfast.  
"Bye, Gary!" said SpongeBob.  
"Meow" said Gary.  
SpongeBob opened his door and ran straight into Flats.  
"Oh, hi, Flats!" he said. "What are doing here?"  
"I'm here to hurt you." Said Flats.  
"What?"  
Flats spied the hat on SpongeBob's head.  
"And I'll start with your head!" he cackled and punched the top of SpongeBob's hat, but it was as hard as rock.  
"YOW!" shouted Flats. He held his fist in his hand.  
SpongeBob smiled. He held up his hat and revealed that there was a big grey block underneath it.  
"A true employee of the month always keeps a block of lead under his hat!" SpongeBob smirked as he walked to work leaving Flats recoiling in pain.


	8. Squidface Is Back!

**Chapter 8**

_In which we meet Squidface again and Plankton concocts another plan_

Plankton needed another plan to destroy Squidward, Patrick didn't help, and from experience Plankton knew not to use SpongeBob's brain, and Sandy's is too full of air, Mr. Krabs' brain is too much filled with thoughts of money.  
But maybe he didn't need to use their brains, but with their blood.  
Plankton knew of Squidward's up coming family reunion, maybe he could use that as an advantage…  
He called for Karen.  
"Yes?" She said ready for yet another command.  
"Squidward has a brother, has he not?" Plankton said, leafing through his profile of Squidward.  
"Yes?" Karen said.  
"His name is Squidface?"  
"Right again."  
"Bring him up on the phone for me."

Squidface was lying down sleeping. It was a long flight and he was sleeping in a hotel.  
His shell phone rang beside him.  
"Yes?" he said.  
"Hello," said Plankton's voice.  
"Who is this?"  
"A friend." Said Plankton. "Listen…"  
Plankton explained to Squidface through the phone about the Krabby Patty formula, how Squidward had stopped him and how he wanted his revenge. As Squidface listened he became less and less tired.  
"I could have my revenge on Squidward?" said Squidface.  
"With my help," Said Plankton. "We can dispose of him… forever!"  
Squidface and Plankton laughed their hearts out. They had a deal and they agreed to meet each other at the Chum Bucket the next day.

SpongeBob walked into the Krusty Krab. There was only one customer eating the breakfast patty special and Squidward just sat slumped reading his magazine.  
"Good morning, Krusty Krew!" said Patrick, walking in. He was back from the ride from the Indian Ocean and he was hungry.  
"Hi, Squidward!" said Patrick. "Thanks for telling me about that quarter."  
Squidward looked up and saw Patrick. "AAAH! DON'T HURT ME!" He shouted.  
"Don't worry Squidward!" said SpongeBob. "He didn't attack you, it was a robot!"  
"A robot?"  
"Yeah, Patrick explained to me that he bought a robot that looked just like him in the Indian Ocean, but it disappeared. It must have went haywire and went here."  
"Okay, that's a relief." Said Squidward.  
Sandy than walked in. "SpongeBob! I think I know all about the robot Patrick! But first we have to go to the moon to gather evidence and…" she stopped when she saw Patrick. "I guess I was wrong. Do you know what really happened?"  
SpongeBob nodded and explained what happened.  
"Oh," said Sandy. "So than she ordered some coral bits to go and went to her Treedome.  
Suddenly the one customer chocked on his patty. SpongeBob ran to him and used the Heimlich Manoeuvre to get the piece of the patty out.  
"Thanks" said the customer when he got his breath back. "Because you saved my life, I'm paying extra!"

Meanwhile in Mr. Krabs' office, Mr. Krabs sat up.  
"I have a wonderful feeling all of a sudden." He said.

Before the two employees went home, Mr. Krabs had an announcement to make.  
"Squidward," he said. "Forgive me but I'm giving your employee of the month award to SpongeBob because he made me more money."  
"Go ahead and give it to him, I don't care." Said Squidward.  
"You mean, I got the employee of the month back?"  
"Yes, boy."  
SpongeBob screamed with happiness. This was one of the happiest days of his life.


	9. The Boring Chapter

**Chapter 9**

_In which things happen for no apparent reason_

Three o' clock Thursday morning. It was still cold and a lone figure walked to the Chum Bucket.  
"Plankton, you here?" he said.  
"Closer," said a voice.  
Squidface walked in towards the Chum Bucket.  
"Closer."  
Squidface obeyed.  
"Closer"  
"Closer… no not that close!"  
SQUELCH!  
"You blasted barnacle head!"  
Squidface looked on the sole of his suction cup, and there was a green blob.  
"Get me off of this, you nut ball!"  
Squidface peeled Plankton off his suction cup. After that Plankton told him the plan…

SpongeBob's shell phone rang at one o' clock Thursday afternoon. SpongeBob answered it.  
"Uhh, SpongeBob?" said Mrs. Puff's voice through the phone.  
"Mrs. Puff?" said SpongeBob. "What are calling me about?"  
"I've been arrested."  
"Gosh, Mrs. Puff! Why?"  
"That outburst in the class? I sort of took it too far."  
"I'm sorry Mrs. Puff."  
"Forget it. Listen classes will be back on after I finish my two month sentence. Would you like to come back?"  
"Yes, Mrs. Puff!" SpongeBob said. Things were starting to look up for him.

The same couldn't be said for Squidward.  
The family reunion was two days from now and he was not ready.  
He spent all of Thursday and Friday worrying.

Flats decided. It was time for a real whipping for SpongeBob.  
He opened the door, and he ran right into his dad.  
"Dad, let me through!" Flats said.  
"I'm taking no more guff from you!" said Flats' dad. "You're grounded!"  
Flats spent the next two years grounded.


	10. Finally, He Has That Stupid Reunion

**Chapter 10**

_In which Squidward finally haves that stupid reunion_

SATURDAY! Squidward was not ready!  
The doorbell rang. Squidward answered. It was Squidface.  
"Hello, Squidface." Said Squidward. "Long time no see… agh!"  
Squidward blacked out.

When Squidward woke up he was in his bedroom tied to a chair in front of Squidface and Plankton.  
"What's going on?" said Squidward.  
"Shut up!" shouted Squidface. "I'll tell you what's going on, our parents always seemed to like you better. But now, I'll get rid of you, and mom and dad will only have me to love!"  
"What's Plankton have to do with this?" said Squidward.  
You'll know what's going next so I'll skip ahead a little bit.  
"I see." Said Squidward. "But when I'll…"  
DING-DONG!  
"Mom and Dad are here!" yelled Squidward.  
"Well, I guess this means I'm going to have to do this quick…" said Squidface.  
"…But still very painful." Said Plankton.  
Squidface was about to punch Squidward when SpongeBob, Patrick and Sandy crashed through the window.  
"Who the (Dolphin sound) are you guys?" shouted Squidface.  
Sandy karate kicked Squidface unconscious and untied Squidward.  
Patrick and SpongeBob stamped on Plankton.  
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" shouted Plankton with each stamp.  
"How'd you know I was here?" said Squidward when he was untied.  
"We read the original manuscript for this story and found out you were here." Said SpongeBob holding up a manuscript.  
"Yeah." Said Squidward.  
DING-DONG!  
"Oh no!" I almost forgot my parents!" Squidward ran down to the door.  
"You meet them while we get rid of these guys." Said SpongeBob.  
When he opened it, there was James and Sophie.  
"Mom, Dad! Nice to see you!" said Squidward.  
Another familiar face appeared. It was Squilliam.  
"Good morning, Squiddy!" he said. "It's time to discuss…"  
"Shut up, Fancyson! I don't want that job anymore! I'm spending today with my family!"  
Squidward pushed Squilliam outside and slammed the door.  
"Oh, well, I lost the company this morning anyway." Said Squilliam, walking home.  
"Mom, Dad, so good to see you!" said Squidward.  
"Good to see you too, son." Said James.  
"Where's Squidface?" said Sophie.  
"Squidface?" said Squidward. "He's…"  
"He had to go home for work related issues," said SpongeBob, who had come downstairs with Patrick and Sandy.  
"Oh, well, we can have a good family reunion without him." Said Sophie.  
"Who are your friends, Squidward?" said James.  
Squidward smiled. He was going to have a good time.

**Postscript:**

Squidward, James, Sophie, SpongeBob, Patrick and Sandy had a wonderful time at the reunion. SpongeBob, Patrick and Sandy made good friends with James and Sophie and they didn't need Squidface at all.  
Plankton was sent to jail for stealing the Krabby Patty Formula, he didn't have time to read it, though.  
SpongeBob kept winning the employee of the month every month without losing once.  
Mrs. Puff was released from prison early because she was driving the guards crazy. SpongeBob went back to her classes and caused her to go to hospital multiple times.  
Flats and his dad moved to the Indian Ocean to get away from Bikini Bottom. Flats stopped kicking butts from then on.  
Squilliam made more money the following year because his stock went up like crazy; he used the money to buy Key Tone Industries back. He made even more money because of the purchase.  
Mr. Krabs stayed in fast food business for a long time to come and had great fun stopping Plankton from getting the formula.  
Patrick was about to use the quarter he got in the Indian Ocean to play a kiddie ride, but he accidentally dropped it and it fell into the sewer.  
And what of Squidface? He moved back to the Mediterranean and moved on with his lifestyle.  
He went back into the bar once he was off the plane from Bikini Bottom.  
He sat down slumped and saddened about his failed attempt at getting revenge on Squidward.  
"Welcome back, Squidface!" said Tom. "The usual?"  
Squidface sighed. "Yeah, Tom. Please."  
**  
The End**


End file.
